The Site ~ Chaturbate

Many of you may know the chat site Chaturbate. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I don’t pay for sex, period…..under any circumstances. I have a very sexy transgender friend, male to female, who’s been doing a show on there recently showing off her stuff. While I was on-line I peeked in on a few others, getting the feel for who and what was shown and offered. That’s when I bumped into a couple, two transgender models/performers who intrigued me. One is a long haired white girl with a softer, slightly chubby body, smaller breasts and pink nipples…..and a cute clitty……the other is a taller black girl with larger breasts…big brown nipples…..and a very nice clitty……I am a fan of these two…….*blush*

Why am I a fan….Why do I follow them….because they excite me…they inspire me in some odd way. In my mind sex workers are are masturbation tools…..period. But these two talk and engage, kiss and hug….do things that the others don’t in a seemingly genuine manner. Maybe it’s there shtick…..maybe not….but I can dream and stroke my cock and feel better about it….instead of feeling abused by a arrogant, self absorbed alternative……They eventually go off and do a private show for those who will pay……but the “foreplay” is typically very arousing…..

But these two, who typically perform together…….”thosedamncows“…….might be worth a peek……It is what it is…….after all…..it’s Chaturbate…..

Please note: I have no financial gain in this, I do not know these individuals or do I myself perform on Chaturbate. I have been a silent watcher at best, sitting back and relishing in their shows…….

Oh no…..I’m addicted……..Really…….

Yes, I’m addicted. I’m not a physician or scientist. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I know in my heart I’m addicted to sex and masturbation. I should have seen this coming ages ago. Maybe I did and through my own denial I refused to admit it. I refused to call my actions anything but my own right to seek pleasure, in the way I was mentored and taught through the actions of others. I mean if you are told masturbation is┬ánormal, a natural thing by a parent, you may always believe it is. In the least when your denial is full blown over a desire or compulsion that you crave and hunger for, you relate back to what you have been taught.

But it is what it is, and reality can not be denied. I recently have read two interesting blogs. For those of us addicted to masturbation it might be interesting for you to read these as well.

From: [disenchantedscholar.wordpress.com/]

[https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/the-hypofrontal-damage-of-porn-addiction-and-loss-of-ambition/]

From: [http://www.artofmanliness.com]

[artofmanliness.com/2014/10/07/men-and-porn-why-is-the-pull-of-porn-so-strong/]

[http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/10/08/the-possible-pitfalls-of-too-much-porn/]

I have seen my work ethic slip over the last months and years. I have been distracted and forgetful, negligent in my duties. Once I get sidelined by an online friend, or find myself browsing the internet for porn, I suddenly realize it has been too many hours since I did what I was supposed to do. I have had days or a week where I have not had a computer in front of me and I have been extremely productive, and then I have days that were a complete waste. I knew when I was not in front of my home computer, and I was not free to perv the internet, I was happier and content, smarter and energetic. But like any addiction, it pulls you to the source of pain and false comfort by an orgasm.