“I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with.

I decided that means that I am sapiosexual

An intellectual fucking of the mind is so hot…….

That Cuckold Thing…..A Little Reversal Thing



Yeah that cuckold thing. I’m so tormented and conflicted over this. I really am. I began following a blog Confessions of a Crossdresser recently. I had met this lovely cross-dresser on another website, and have found him to be engaging and very open regarding his cuckold desires. As time went on and our discussions became more arousing. My dominant nature was stimulated by his submissiveness, but his desire to be cucked made me rush to open my pants and stroke my cock envisioning the passion and sexuality of what churned with in him.

A bit later I searched out other cockold blogs. Among them was Cuckolding Nathan, and Ladiesontop by Lady A. I was excited to read them, checking in daily to see if there was another post or entry. My compulsion to read and understand, was beginning to make me think about myself, my past, and of course my future.

I confess, I’m a addicted to masturbation. I love the D/s dynamic. I love strong submissive women and submissive fem boys. The cuck scenario has always intrigued me on many levels. I have always loved seeing or reading about cuckold’s. I loved watching the videos of males watching their spouses with other men, bull’s fucking them. I loved seeing her laying on her back or on all fours, taking his hard cock in her pussy as she sucked another. I loved hearing her moan as her hubby sat in the corner stroking his pitifully small cock. I loved the power exchange, the submissive nature, and arousal in her and her husband.

I remember when I was married to my first wife. I was young and very sexually open minded, even then. My wife knew my cock was always in need of a sucking or fucking and I fancied many of her married girl friends. She also knew they had older spouses who no longer had the desire to please their wives, or could satisfy them if they wanted to. Many were simply sluts who wanted to experiment with a strange cock.

Our foreplay include conversation and stories of what we did in our past before we met, and what would be exciting and arousing now, pushing limits, especially hers. If I shared I wanted to play outside our marriage, she would become jealous, it aroused her to a place where she might do almost anything. I was never turned on by her taking another cock by her own decision, but I had shared her with some guys I knew in the beginning of our relationship, so I knew my emotional limits and how I might react. Reflecting back, it was conflicted. As long as I maintained control and she did what I saw as mutually pleasurable for us, I had no regrets. But after we had more kids something changed in her. Diapers and feedings, laundry, cleaning, and cooking, my work schedule all changed us. I did more than most men. I was a Mr. Mom in many ways.

One night laying in bed my wife shared that P’s husband had a heart condition and had experienced issues with getting an erection. She said P was thinking of cheating on him, finding a regular lover to fill her needs. She looked at me and asked, “Don’t you think that’s interesting?” I nodded. I slipped my finger into her, probing deep for her g-spot as my thumb pressed on her clit. I whispered, “I think P would love my cock buried in her cunt…….is that want you want…..would that make you happy……seeing your loving husband fucking your girl friend because her hubby can’t……wouldn’t you be jealous?……or would you sit in the corner and watch with your fingers in your wet cunt?” As I rubbed her spongy G spot and pressed against her clit harder, she came, her cunt squirting as she moaned loudly through the house.

A few weeks later, P was over. After a cocktail the girls started talking about sex, P said it had been a while since she had any good sex. My wife said that she had been getting some awesome fucking from me lately, winking at me. P said, “I’m was jealous…..if I had a man like you….I’d be sucking your cock the minute you walked through the door.” I saw my wife fidget in her chair, crossing and crossing her legs, squeezing her thighs together. I was always attracted to P. Being 15 years my senior, she was a mature woman. She was fun, reckless, and still very much a little girl.

I had been with one of my wife’s other girl friends in the past. It was her best friend from childhood and it had been arranged we would have a threesome the next time she was in town. My wife saw me plunge my cock into her, hear her moan and say….”Oh God….fuck me…..fuck me harder….deeper….fuck me like the slut I am.” It was a mass of three bodies touching, sucking, and caressing each other; it was not me taking her friend as she simply watched or heard about it from me later. No, this thing with P was going to be different.

My thoughts were all over the the place. I was friends with her husband. Not best friends, not simply acquaintances either. We hung out and did things together with our kids. Would I be able to look him in the eye after I fucked his wife? I loved the way P appeared, mature, pretty, and well put together. Her breasts were bigger than my wife’s and she always dressed to show them off. Once I had a peek at one of her nipples, I hungered to suckle her breast ever since that day. In spite of the conflicts with her husband, I knew I was going to fuck P. I just hadn’t determined when and under what scenario. I needed my wife’s involvement out of the equation, even though her initial reactions and suggestive comments seemed to instigate all of this. I know she wanted me to fuck P, and she wanted to watch from afar. She wanted to hear us, smell the sex, and sit in a corner and masturbate. I wanted to see that look in her eyes, I wanted to see her chest rise and fall later when I would tell her how wet P was, how sexually hungry she was for me. I wanted her to see us kiss, right in front of her. I loved sensing how wet her panties would be with just the anticipation of me pounding my cock into P’s cunt.

I had taken the kids to my folks house and we were free for the night and half of the next day. My wife asked what I wanted to do and my thoughts went to fucking P. I told her I was going stop in and see P’s husband for a few, maybe pick up a few movies at the video store and head home. She looked at me with a questioning stare and nodded.

I knew P’s hubby was bowling, and P would be alone. When I got there P had a huge smile on her face. I asked her, “What?” P’s eyes were sparkling when she asked, “Are you gonna fuck me?” I wasn’t shocked by her question, I knew P very well and she was always a horny girl, but I think she knew what was happening, maybe more than I did. “You wanna come over and watch some movies with us?” I asked. She smiled and said, “lets go.”

We drove in silence until we got to the video store, I watching as she fussed with the hem on her sun dress. Just as I parked she raised her dress and said, “I”m so wet…..fuck…..I want you so bad.” I winked at her and closed the door. Her panties had a wet spot. My head was reeling and my cock was pulsing. The anticipation of “cheating” and doing it in front of my wife was making me crazy. Knowing P was horny and wanton, made it all the more arousing.

Returning to the car, I looked at her and said, “Gimme your panties.” I couldn’t wait to see her mound. I watched as she pulled her panties down, she parted her thighs and then looked at me she handed them to me. I love the scent of a woman, bringing them to my face I inhaled. P blushed. I leaned over and kissed her softly, “Thank you,” I said.

When we arrived home my wife had made some popcorn and was waiting for me in her cute baby doll nightie, she was surprised when I walked in with P. “Hey Babe, I brought P with…..her hubby was out and she wanted some company,” I said to my wife. I flipped P’s wet panties on the couch and walked over to kiss my wife. I walked over to P who was still standing and lifted her sun dress, and said, “Hun….P isn’t wearing any panties.”

I could tell my wife was kinda pissed and yet excited, not knowing which direction to allow her emotions to take her. I knew the more she resisted, the harder I would push her. Walking behind P, I reached around and lifted her dress, exposing her mound. I heard her moan, and I heard my wife gasp. I loved the tension, my wife and I, my wife and P, and the sexual desire between P and myself. I was so aroused.

My wife just sat on the couch, her legs together and pulled up under her. I could see her nipples through her baby doll, and they were hard. P’s were hard too, as I raked my finger across them, pinching and pulling. I could slowly see my wife getting into the sexual scene playing out before her. It was in her eyes.

Turning P around, kissing her full on the lips in a long lingering wet kiss, completely unconscious of my wife’s presence I pushed the shoulder straps of P’s sun dress off her shoulders watching it fall to the floor. P was naked. Her breast hung slightly, and the slight curve to her belly only made me want her even more. She was a hot mature cock whore, and I was going to treat her as one. As to my wife, she could watch. Dropping to her knees she took my cock out and kissing the pre cum away before she stood and kissed me again. P looked over to my wife and said, “I”m gonna fuck your man.” We both took in what my wife was doing, her hand was in her panties and she was rubbing her clit. She nodded as she laid her head back, not saying a word, just moaning quietly, more of a desperate whimper.

I had planned on laying P down next to my wife, fucking her and showing my wife all of it, everything. I thought why? Why should I share this precious momenet with her. If she wants to watch, she would have to make the effort. I wanted P naked in our bed, wetting the sheets with our arousal, the bed that my wife and I share, P’s scent washing the bed where my wife’s sleeps.

A thought about loss………

So much is said about loss. May it the death of a loved one, the loss of a friend, or losing a lover. The grief and heart ache is insurmountable. Many times we find ourselves in place that has us frozen, but incapable of getting a grip and find any stability. I found this and thought it was the most rational statement about loss and grief. A good read.

Old Man Explains Death and Life to Grieving Young Man

Trans Girl, A love affair.

Source: Trans Girl, A love affair.

I posted a new page. Please peek at it…….just sayin’

I’m a pansexual male whose had a love of Transgender for decades. The page is a written account of my experiences over time which began with sexual encounters. Over time one learns many things…..We become educated….We mature and come to embrace the the “whole” of personal experiences, and not simply the shallow desires lying deep with in us. What began as an moment of arousal……has transformed itself and me in many ways. Yes, I am still a male and I still make mistakes in language, after years of listening to conventional “wisdom”…..prejudice, stereotyping….etc. But this life is not built on perfection, it is about progress and embracing differences along the path……this has been part of my journey…….

School Girl Games

Image by Gerome
Image by Gerome

We played those games. As I shared in a recent post, I met Susan walking down the street. She had dropped her keys and her plaid skirt pulled when she bent over up showing her pretty white panties and lovely bottom. When she stood back up, she flipped her hair, said hello, and all of a sudden I was sitting in a coffee shop, sipping an espresso talking with a girl. She was tremendously flirtatious in a very sweet way. I learned she was actually older that I was at 40 years old, but had the appearance of someone a decade younger. Her little school girl outfit didn’t hurt the look either. She looked at and said, “You might be surprised……not knowing me at all……but I like rules……I like being made to do things……maybe I misjudged you……but I don’t think so.” I was guessing she understood me too. I was aroused and I could feel my cock swelling.

We sat and chatted and talked well the dinner hour, talking about a wide array of subjects, from sweet to very naughty. I fell in love with her green eyes and warm personality. I guess if I ever experienced love at first sight, this was the moment. She was like a little girl yearning for her Daddy.

As the fall day fell to dusk and then into early evening darkness, I said I needed to be somewhere and suggested leaving, maybe catching a movie some night, or a drink in a quiet tavern. She nodded and we walked out on to the street. She had an odd look on her face, a smirk like she wanted to ask me something, but was holding back. Susan would lean into me, rubbing herself against me, playing with my finger tips occasionally as she continued to talk about her life. I was again feeling aroused. I love a girl who can flirt back with me. The back and forth always bringing me to the edge and then building again.

I told her my car was down this gangway between two buildings and she said, “Mine too.” About half way down the alley I grabbed her by the hair, tuning her around. She looked in my eye and then tilted her head towards the ground. Raising her chin with my finger, I said, “I’m going to fuck you right here…’ve been flirting and teasing me for hours…. like a naughty little prick teaser.” Susan’s face was flushed, I heard her whisper, “Yes Daddy.” “Oooooooooh…….you’ve been trained well,” I said as I reached down, pushing my hand under her short skirt, grabbing at her panties. “Are ya gonna rip em’ off of me right here……in public?” I pulled them tight up into the cleft of her cunt. “Your wet……good,” I said quietly, and then added, “Turn around and face the wall…….little school girl!”

My mind was reeling with all I wanted to do to her. I wanted to feel her pussy clench around my hard cock more than anything, as I again turned her around, grabbed her hair,  and bent her over. I heard her moan as I pulled her panties aside, aiming my cock at her hole, I thrust into her. She was wet, drenched. Grabbing her hips I began fucking her deep and steady. as she steadied herself and palms against the wall, she puhed back into me. “So you like Daddy’s cock Susan?” Susan nodded trying to catch er breath. I raised my hand and swatted her ass. “Ooooooouch……..Please fuck me…..Please, she gasped. “I’m gonna fill you with my seed…….I’m  claim you little girl……I’m gonna fuck you until I’m done….ughhhh……Mmmmm……Aaaahhhhh.” I felt my cock pulse and release my hot seed into her.

I held her against the wall, both of us breathing hard, sweat covering my forehead.  I heard an “oh my!” as an older lady turned away from the opening of the gangway. “We better get out of here before someone else see’s us……..gimme your panties….now!” I said. Susan looked at me as pulled them down, then stepping out of them, she handed them to me. “What, another notch on your guitar?” she asked. “I’m not a musician…..but ya a souvenir,” I told her. Grabbing her By the hair once again, I firmly directed her towards the parking lot. Once out in the night air and free from the confines of the gangway, I watched Susan walk. Her hips and butt swaying, I felt a twinge of arousal again. “You like little girls ass don’tcha Daddy?” I nodded, thinking yes I did.

We seemed destined to be together soon. I just never expected to see her at my door at 7 o’clock the next morning, with a suit case and laundry bag in her hands. “What……your washing machine die on you?” I asked. “Happy to see me are ya?” she quipped back at me. I was happy to see her, but wondered what she was doing here this early and with luggage. “You look so good in your robe Daddy?” Susan said as she again flipped her hair in a flirtatious manner. She was working me, and I was beginning to feel a little apprehensive about why she was here. Reaching out and under the same skirt she wore last night, I grabbed her butt which was still naked like last night. “You been out getting your cunt fucked…..after I filled it?” I asked. I felt a jolt of jealousy as she bit her lower lip. “No…..that pounding you gave me was enough….but I haven’t had a minute of sleep…..” I cut her off. “Yeah……..prove it……show me your pussy……if you have any cum dripping out of your cock whore cunt……you can just turn your ass around and go back to what ever prick filled you last,” I said. “Daddy…….your cum is the only cum still dripping out of this little girls coochie,” she said with a silly smile on her face. I nodded, grabbing her by the arm as I dragged her into my bedroom. “Get up there….on all fours…..spread your legs and show me your cunt,” I demanded. Susan never unwilling it seemed to exhibit herself, jumped on the bed. Laying her chest and face on my bed, with her ass up in the air, I could see her pretty pussy clearly. I was aroused and my cock head was poking out of my robe. “I think I should inspect you Susie….can I call you Susie….or would you maybe like …….lil’ hot cunt?” “I do have a hot little cunt Daddy…..but Suzie’s fine,” she said. I went to my bedside draw and gabbed a few things.

“Okay…..Suzie…..Daddy’s gonna inspect that hot little cunt and ass,” I said in a tone that sounded like that of a doctor. I looked at her with her ass up in the air and felt so aroused. She had a circle of fine hair surrounding her rosebud., and a little more hair surrounding her pussy. Her mound had a thicker mass of curls covering it. “You’re gonna need to shave yourself, I want you smooth like a little girl Suzie.” I saw her reach under and rub her fingers in her hair and dip her finger in her wet cunt. “Stop that… get to touch yourself when I say you may, now lick that finger clean,” I demanded. “Mmmmmm…….Daddy…..Little girl tastes good,” Suzie moaned as she licked and sucker her finger, wiggling her ass at me. The sound of soft warm flesh meeting the palm of my hand. rang out. “Ouch…….that hurt Daddy.” My palm left a large hand print on her butt cheek. I felt proud and even more aroused. I could see she was aroused as well. as her lips seemed to have a new glisten of moisture on them. The room was beginning to smell of her sex. I was so primal, the scent of sex hardening my cock even more. I opened my robe and stroked my cock as I inspected Suzie’s cunt. My own arousal was beginning to ooze from the tip of my cock. Walking around to the side of my bed I said, “Daddy’s cock needs to be cleaned…….”Lick it nice and slow……clean the head nice….like a good little cock whore……Mmmmmm……yes….you are a good cock sucking slut Susie…..Mmmm.” I wanted to grab her head and throat fuck her, but we had a day.

Standing behind her, I almost couldn’t resist kneeling down and licking her hot little cunt. Her scent was arousing, her lips wet and aroused. I reached over and grabbed one of the dildos I had taken from my drawer. I slipped it into her slightly, hearing her moan. Teasing the outer area and up to her asshole, watching it pucker, I said, “Good little girl Suzie,” and pushed it in a little deeper. Suzie pushed back a little. Hungry to be filled again, “You’re such a cock loving slut Suzie….you want this hard toy in you don’t you?” Yes Daddy…..fill me with it…..deeper Daddy please.”

I held it and let go. “Hold that cock shaped toy in your pussy Suzie…….hold it there,” I ordered her. I reached out and took a butt plug off the bed and lubed it well. Putting it at her rose bud I spun it a bit, rubbing the lube all over her hole. Another moan from her as I pushed. “Mmmmmm…..Daddy……Daddy.” I slapped her ass again. “Stop,” I said. “Quiet…..I wanna hear you moan and whimper.”

I pushed against the resistance, slow, but constant, until the base of the plug hit flush with her cheeks. “Keep that in you all day,” I said. “But Daddy…………”



Where Did That Girl Go?

Image by Gerome
Image by Gerome

I still lay awake at night pondering where the highly sexual girl I fell in love with disappeared to. You lay beside me sleeping, in shallow breaths. On this hot summer night you lay here under the sheets in only your panties, and I hunger for the nights we laid naked pressed against each other. The scent of your arousal filled my senses and the room, feeding our desires. You gave yourself to me, willingly as I uncovered the darkness which churned in your belly, and oozed from your cunt.

Innocently over coffee many moons ago, you looked at me and said, “You might be surprised……not knowing me at all……but I like rules……I like being made to do things……maybe I misjudged you……but I don’t think so.”

I saw the little girl in you as you walked towards me. I can never put into words what that means or entails. I just know it when I see it. I loved your confidence and strength, and your need to be with a stronger and more confident man. I loved how I made you feel safe and how you made me laugh. I loved how you trusted me, completely. The way you flipped your hair and smiled, flirting with me. My cock was throbbing as you bent over to pick up your keys, showing me your bottom and little panties. Do you remember me taking you in the parking lot, claiming you? Do you remember how you moved into my apartment the next day?

As I raise the sheet and peek at how much fuller your bottom is now, seeing how your panties are stretched and pulled into the cleft of your ass, I feel my cock pulsing as I slip my hand between your thighs, and whisper, “I need you now.” Your lack of response castrates me, as you sleep on, in shallow breathes.

Where did the little girl in you run to?