Sapiosexual

“I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with.

I decided that means that I am sapiosexual

An intellectual fucking of the mind is so hot…….

That Cuckold Thing…..A Little Reversal Thing

Cuck

 

Yeah that cuckold thing. I’m so tormented and conflicted over this. I really am. I began following a blog Confessions of a Crossdresser recently. I had met this lovely cross-dresser on another website, and have found him to be engaging and very open regarding his cuckold desires. As time went on and our discussions became more arousing. My dominant nature was stimulated by his submissiveness, but his desire to be cucked made me rush to open my pants and stroke my cock envisioning the passion and sexuality of what churned with in him.

A bit later I searched out other cockold blogs. Among them was Cuckolding Nathan, and Ladiesontop by Lady A. I was excited to read them, checking in daily to see if there was another post or entry. My compulsion to read and understand, was beginning to make me think about myself, my past, and of course my future.

I confess, I’m a addicted to masturbation. I love the D/s dynamic. I love strong submissive women and submissive fem boys. The cuck scenario has always intrigued me on many levels. I have always loved seeing or reading about cuckold’s. I loved watching the videos of males watching their spouses with other men, bull’s fucking them. I loved seeing her laying on her back or on all fours, taking his hard cock in her pussy as she sucked another. I loved hearing her moan as her hubby sat in the corner stroking his pitifully small cock. I loved the power exchange, the submissive nature, and arousal in her and her husband.

I remember when I was married to my first wife. I was young and very sexually open minded, even then. My wife knew my cock was always in need of a sucking or fucking and I fancied many of her married girl friends. She also knew they had older spouses who no longer had the desire to please their wives, or could satisfy them if they wanted to. Many were simply sluts who wanted to experiment with a strange cock.

Our foreplay include conversation and stories of what we did in our past before we met, and what would be exciting and arousing now, pushing limits, especially hers. If I shared I wanted to play outside our marriage, she would become jealous, it aroused her to a place where she might do almost anything. I was never turned on by her taking another cock by her own decision, but I had shared her with some guys I knew in the beginning of our relationship, so I knew my emotional limits and how I might react. Reflecting back, it was conflicted. As long as I maintained control and she did what I saw as mutually pleasurable for us, I had no regrets. But after we had more kids something changed in her. Diapers and feedings, laundry, cleaning, and cooking, my work schedule all changed us. I did more than most men. I was a Mr. Mom in many ways.

One night laying in bed my wife shared that P’s husband had a heart condition and had experienced issues with getting an erection. She said P was thinking of cheating on him, finding a regular lover to fill her needs. She looked at me and asked, “Don’t you think that’s interesting?” I nodded. I slipped my finger into her, probing deep for her g-spot as my thumb pressed on her clit. I whispered, “I think P would love my cock buried in her cunt…….is that want you want…..would that make you happy……seeing your loving husband fucking your girl friend because her hubby can’t……wouldn’t you be jealous?……or would you sit in the corner and watch with your fingers in your wet cunt?” As I rubbed her spongy G spot and pressed against her clit harder, she came, her cunt squirting as she moaned loudly through the house.

A few weeks later, P was over. After a cocktail the girls started talking about sex, P said it had been a while since she had any good sex. My wife said that she had been getting some awesome fucking from me lately, winking at me. P said, “I’m was jealous…..if I had a man like you….I’d be sucking your cock the minute you walked through the door.” I saw my wife fidget in her chair, crossing and crossing her legs, squeezing her thighs together. I was always attracted to P. Being 15 years my senior, she was a mature woman. She was fun, reckless, and still very much a little girl.

I had been with one of my wife’s other girl friends in the past. It was her best friend from childhood and it had been arranged we would have a threesome the next time she was in town. My wife saw me plunge my cock into her, hear her moan and say….”Oh God….fuck me…..fuck me harder….deeper….fuck me like the slut I am.” It was a mass of three bodies touching, sucking, and caressing each other; it was not me taking her friend as she simply watched or heard about it from me later. No, this thing with P was going to be different.

My thoughts were all over the the place. I was friends with her husband. Not best friends, not simply acquaintances either. We hung out and did things together with our kids. Would I be able to look him in the eye after I fucked his wife? I loved the way P appeared, mature, pretty, and well put together. Her breasts were bigger than my wife’s and she always dressed to show them off. Once I had a peek at one of her nipples, I hungered to suckle her breast ever since that day. In spite of the conflicts with her husband, I knew I was going to fuck P. I just hadn’t determined when and under what scenario. I needed my wife’s involvement out of the equation, even though her initial reactions and suggestive comments seemed to instigate all of this. I know she wanted me to fuck P, and she wanted to watch from afar. She wanted to hear us, smell the sex, and sit in a corner and masturbate. I wanted to see that look in her eyes, I wanted to see her chest rise and fall later when I would tell her how wet P was, how sexually hungry she was for me. I wanted her to see us kiss, right in front of her. I loved sensing how wet her panties would be with just the anticipation of me pounding my cock into P’s cunt.

I had taken the kids to my folks house and we were free for the night and half of the next day. My wife asked what I wanted to do and my thoughts went to fucking P. I told her I was going stop in and see P’s husband for a few, maybe pick up a few movies at the video store and head home. She looked at me with a questioning stare and nodded.

I knew P’s hubby was bowling, and P would be alone. When I got there P had a huge smile on her face. I asked her, “What?” P’s eyes were sparkling when she asked, “Are you gonna fuck me?” I wasn’t shocked by her question, I knew P very well and she was always a horny girl, but I think she knew what was happening, maybe more than I did. “You wanna come over and watch some movies with us?” I asked. She smiled and said, “lets go.”

We drove in silence until we got to the video store, I watching as she fussed with the hem on her sun dress. Just as I parked she raised her dress and said, “I”m so wet…..fuck…..I want you so bad.” I winked at her and closed the door. Her panties had a wet spot. My head was reeling and my cock was pulsing. The anticipation of “cheating” and doing it in front of my wife was making me crazy. Knowing P was horny and wanton, made it all the more arousing.

Returning to the car, I looked at her and said, “Gimme your panties.” I couldn’t wait to see her mound. I watched as she pulled her panties down, she parted her thighs and then looked at me she handed them to me. I love the scent of a woman, bringing them to my face I inhaled. P blushed. I leaned over and kissed her softly, “Thank you,” I said.

When we arrived home my wife had made some popcorn and was waiting for me in her cute baby doll nightie, she was surprised when I walked in with P. “Hey Babe, I brought P with…..her hubby was out and she wanted some company,” I said to my wife. I flipped P’s wet panties on the couch and walked over to kiss my wife. I walked over to P who was still standing and lifted her sun dress, and said, “Hun….P isn’t wearing any panties.”

I could tell my wife was kinda pissed and yet excited, not knowing which direction to allow her emotions to take her. I knew the more she resisted, the harder I would push her. Walking behind P, I reached around and lifted her dress, exposing her mound. I heard her moan, and I heard my wife gasp. I loved the tension, my wife and I, my wife and P, and the sexual desire between P and myself. I was so aroused.

My wife just sat on the couch, her legs together and pulled up under her. I could see her nipples through her baby doll, and they were hard. P’s were hard too, as I raked my finger across them, pinching and pulling. I could slowly see my wife getting into the sexual scene playing out before her. It was in her eyes.

Turning P around, kissing her full on the lips in a long lingering wet kiss, completely unconscious of my wife’s presence I pushed the shoulder straps of P’s sun dress off her shoulders watching it fall to the floor. P was naked. Her breast hung slightly, and the slight curve to her belly only made me want her even more. She was a hot mature cock whore, and I was going to treat her as one. As to my wife, she could watch. Dropping to her knees she took my cock out and kissing the pre cum away before she stood and kissed me again. P looked over to my wife and said, “I”m gonna fuck your man.” We both took in what my wife was doing, her hand was in her panties and she was rubbing her clit. She nodded as she laid her head back, not saying a word, just moaning quietly, more of a desperate whimper.

I had planned on laying P down next to my wife, fucking her and showing my wife all of it, everything. I thought why? Why should I share this precious momenet with her. If she wants to watch, she would have to make the effort. I wanted P naked in our bed, wetting the sheets with our arousal, the bed that my wife and I share, P’s scent washing the bed where my wife’s sleeps.

A thought about loss………

So much is said about loss. May it the death of a loved one, the loss of a friend, or losing a lover. The grief and heart ache is insurmountable. Many times we find ourselves in place that has us frozen, but incapable of getting a grip and find any stability. I found this and thought it was the most rational statement about loss and grief. A good read.

Old Man Explains Death and Life to Grieving Young Man

Trans Girl, A love affair.

Source: Trans Girl, A love affair.

I posted a new page. Please peek at it…….just sayin’

I’m a pansexual male whose had a love of Transgender for decades. The page is a written account of my experiences over time which began with sexual encounters. Over time one learns many things…..We become educated….We mature and come to embrace the the “whole” of personal experiences, and not simply the shallow desires lying deep with in us. What began as an moment of arousal……has transformed itself and me in many ways. Yes, I am still a male and I still make mistakes in language, after years of listening to conventional “wisdom”…..prejudice, stereotyping….etc. But this life is not built on perfection, it is about progress and embracing differences along the path……this has been part of my journey…….

Where Did That Girl Go?

Image by Gerome
Image by Gerome

I still lay awake at night pondering where the highly sexual girl I fell in love with disappeared to. You lay beside me sleeping, in shallow breaths. On this hot summer night you lay here under the sheets in only your panties, and I hunger for the nights we laid naked pressed against each other. The scent of your arousal filled my senses and the room, feeding our desires. You gave yourself to me, willingly as I uncovered the darkness which churned in your belly, and oozed from your cunt.

Innocently over coffee many moons ago, you looked at me and said, “You might be surprised……not knowing me at all……but I like rules……I like being made to do things……maybe I misjudged you……but I don’t think so.”

I saw the little girl in you as you walked towards me. I can never put into words what that means or entails. I just know it when I see it. I loved your confidence and strength, and your need to be with a stronger and more confident man. I loved how I made you feel safe and how you made me laugh. I loved how you trusted me, completely. The way you flipped your hair and smiled, flirting with me. My cock was throbbing as you bent over to pick up your keys, showing me your bottom and little panties. Do you remember me taking you in the parking lot, claiming you? Do you remember how you moved into my apartment the next day?

As I raise the sheet and peek at how much fuller your bottom is now, seeing how your panties are stretched and pulled into the cleft of your ass, I feel my cock pulsing as I slip my hand between your thighs, and whisper, “I need you now.” Your lack of response castrates me, as you sleep on, in shallow breathes.

Where did the little girl in you run to?

How could you…….

I lay in bed and quietly look on you as you sleep. It’s 1:02 am and I’m tossing and turning. I look to the barren floor, searching for him sleeping as he had for over a decade. Hearing that last gasp of breath as the needle emptied in him made our existence even more empty. I cried for weeks, but not on your shoulder. I held you. I caught you. I always do. Not soft kisses, not caresses, not any tenderness from my hands or lips could bring you back. How could you betray me? Why must you castrate me with your words? How can you expect me to not fear your crazy anger?….. Your runaway selfish emotion is like a locomotive without brakes. I’ve stopped listening. The echo of your rants keeps me up at night, angry, staring at the ceiling running from the nightmares. Its sad being forgotten, insignificant. And you wonder why your friends flirt with me…….how they whisper….”You deserve better.”

I remember when we slept entangled, and the touch of our flesh was warm and alive. I remember when my hand slipped between your thighs in the middle of the night, and you needed me, you whimpered and whispered “Oh God….I want you.”……..and still…..I want you…..