Confusing Feelings

Submission......image by Gerome.
Submission……image by Gerome.

Her Name was Helen. She was the older lady I met at the book store. She was 52 years young. My mother was 41 years old.

Helen told me……….“I was once with a man who was……..how do I say this?……he was very Dominant…..he was loving but he was very sexual…..he demanded things from me that I had never done……I was embarrassed to do the things he asked of me…..but I did them…..he pushed me and instead of making me weaker…..he made me stronger.”

Helen looked at me for a bit and said……”This could be you……this is you.”

My understanding of this was becoming less confusing, but the pulling between where I had been and where I was leaning, was like bouncing off padded walls. It seemed my mind was screaming……”Please…..Please”….. and my body was electric with arousal. My cock was hard, swollen and throbbing as Helen spoke to me. I needed her to shut up. I needed something and I didn’t exactly know which way to turn, I only knew I needed release. There way an emptiness, coupled with a stronger urge to do something.  In the past when I would feel like this, frustrated and incapable of putting into words my thoughts, I would masturbate. Or, I would go to Sir’s house and submit to his desires. Without so much as a fleeting thought, “that” was not an option that crossed my mind . I was at the end of my rope. I felt as much as she was telling me to reach down and address my Dominant desires and energy, she was leading me. I was still being lead by a metaphoric collar and leash. I was beginning to hate that feeling.

It was too much to absorb. I looked at Helen and said, “I need to go.”

Rene was my best friend. He was my age, we had been sexual partners for as long as our cock’s got hard. When I got home I went next door to see him. He was home and alone. Rene hadn’t seen me in a while and Asked, “Where you been stranger?” We went and sat on his bed. “I don’t know, with Helen……that older lady,” I told him. He could sense I was troubled. “You been with Sir?” he asked. I shook my head. “Why not?” he quickly asked. I shrugged my shoulders, “I been into her……she makes me feel so different,” I replied as I laid back on his bed.

Rene was sitting aside me in his tight spandex shorts. He wore those even though he wasn’t a runner. He didn’t have a shirt on either, so his smooth hairless chest and hard little nipples were right there, teasing me. He curled up next to me and asked, “Has she replaced me?” he said, biting his lower lip. I saw an opportunity to tease him, something I never missed if I had the chance. “You’re such a sissy Rene…….look at you…..no top…..those slutty tight shorts…..and your clitty……are you wet?” I asked trying to humiliate him a little. I knew he loved it, it always made him wanna do anything I wanted.

I sat there for a minute and thought about what I just said, and how it made me feel. The more I teased him and humiliated him, the more willing he was to do anything I asked. Maybe I am that guy that Helen was talking about. With Rene it felt so natural, it was who he and I were for as long as I could remember. “The little sissy want to suck his Master’s cock……..I can tell?” I said, as I pondered why I referred to myself as his Master, I never used that word before. Rene looked at me with blushed cheeks as he opened my pants, not saying a word. He looked at me quickly as he lowered his lips and began kissing and licking the shaft of my cock. Then in one swoop he devoured me. I felt the head of my penis hit the back of his throat as he began bobbing up and down. I simply laid back and enjoyed his service to his “Master.”

I was close, so close. I needed to cum, but I wasn’t done yet. I wanted more from him. I wanted so bad to make him beg me to cum. He had done that a few times and now I needed it more than ever. “Stop…..Stop Rene…….look at me……you’re such a good cock sucker……I want you up on all fours…..and take those ridiculous shorts off,” I demanded. I really loved him in those shorts. I could see his cock outlined so perfectly. When he was dripping pre cum there was always a wet spot. But I didn’t want him to know it. They made me a little vulnerable, but that was something else I didn’t want him to recognize either.

Rene slipped his shorts off. His cock was hard and so aroused, the head a pale purple instead of it’s usual lighter pink. He went to stoke it and I said, “No…..no touching,”. I heard him sigh. Up on all fours he looked so feminine, with the exception of his shaved balls. Reaching out I grabbed his cock and pulled it towards me, “Now close your thighs and keep em’ tight.” His cock and balls were so cute and sexy, the thought of leaning in and taking each ball, one at a time in my mouth washed over me. Temptation, has not my best friend. I Slapped his ass hard to shake him and I back to reality. I heard him moan in his soft seductive way, begging for more. I swatted him again and then again, as his cock and balls twitched and bobbed. He was so incredibly sexy. My cock was the only cock to have ever cum in his hole and feel it clench. He was so tight, I needed lube. “Fuck it…..I’m taking you raw, I whispered. He moaned and said, “No……no….the head is gonna hurt.”

I agreed and stuck my finger into him. He moaned. Pulling out and pushing it back in all the way, in and out as I grabbed his cock. I began a thrusting my finger in and out as I stroking and squeezed his cock. Pre cum was dripping from the head as I milked him. I was rubbing against his spot, his prostate. His hard penis would be draining cum soon as he begged , “Please let me cum……Please!” I said nothing. I stopped stroking him, teasing him and he begged me again, “Please let me cum……Please!……Please.”

I wanted to see him cum, I wanted to feel his warm arousal wet my hand. I wanted so bad to take his cock and taste him. Then as I grabbed and squeezed him, I felt is cock pulse, and then release. My hand was drenched. I licked a bit off and wiped the rest on his pink hole. Grabbing his hip with one hand, I aimed my cock to where I would squirt my own cum and pushing into him. He tightened around me, his ass clenching as I pushed deeper. His pink little hole was stretched as I pulled out a bit and then back. A few more thrusts into him and my seed flooded his boy pussy. I had taken him. I had claimed him. Why didn’t I see it that way before.

4 thoughts on “Confusing Feelings

  1. Thank you so much Adhamh…….I understand that my life choices might not be that of anybody else….but the fact that you read it and appreciated the eroticism in it…..makes me *smile*…….Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rene reminds me of a guy I used to have lots of sex with; we fell into a “master/slave” kind of sexual role playing where I was unknowingly cast into the role of the master and he as the slave who purposely resisted things in order to get me to make him do the things we both loved for him to do. At the time, I thought it was some crazy shit; I didn’t understand what was going on but I understood enough to know that if I played this game with him, it would be lots of fun. When we weren’t naked with each other, we were pretty much equals all up and down the line and, oddly, because of our many years of martial arts training, both quite deadly if we needed to be, trained to never submit to anyone for any reason… until his need to have sex with me kicked in and he would beg for me to dominate him, to make him submit to things that, had it been any other male, would result in some grave harm coming his way.

    And I would take him, make him submit; I’d humiliate him, spank him, punish him whenever he “displeased” me; I would “force” him to give up his ass so I could fill it with my erection and sperm and he would fight back – and all that did was make it all sweeter when he felt me spreading his ass open with my dick and he’d submit. Afterward, we’d both be sated and sweaty and, as was our “routine,” we’d wait a few minutes, get cleaned up, refueled and rehydrated… and the game would begin again.

    He was the first guy to tell me, “We shouldn’t be doing this; I feel bad about doing this!” but we’d do it; I asked him, “If you feel so bad about doing this, why do we keep doing it?”

    He said, “Because I need to do it… and I love doing it like this with you and only you. Command me…”

    I learned something about myself, something that, today, doesn’t make me feel good about myself to remember the things I’d say and do to him but I also had to admit that when we played Master and Slave, I enjoyed every damned second of my role as his master even though, in truth, we were truly equals until we got naked with each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for your comment kdaddy…….yes very similar in many ways. Rene always said “we shouldn’t be doing this” ……I always asked him the same as you did……lol

    What may have been different with Rene and I was the fact we grew up together, out first sexual experiences were with each other……coming of age experiences that blossomed into a deeper connection with each other as we got older. His submission deepened when he saw he was not my only sex partner who meant something……I saw myself as a submissive and both he and Helen showed me I really wasn’t…….

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